[Pet Health Admin]

Original airdate: 5-17-93. Stardate: 46853.2. Just when Dax reports "unusually high thoron emissions" from a plasma field near DS9, crew members throughout the station suddenly discover all sorts of creatures and beings conjured up from their own imaginations. These amusing manifestations--normally confined to the holodeck--are actually aliens, trying to gain insight into human behavior by giving form to the crew's fantasies; this turns "If Wishes Were Horses" (a title taken from a popular Earth folk song) into a whimsical tale of benevolent first contact, while also allowing us to appreciate DS9's main characters by getting a glimpse of their innermost desires (Bashir's lust for Dax being the prime example). As the feisty Rumpelstiltskin, 3-foot-7 actor Michael John Anderson (so memorable from David Lynch's Twin Peaks) is an added delight, badgering O'Brien with enough taunting sarcasm to give the episode its requisite quota of mystery and subtle sense of danger. --Jeff Shannon
Customer Review: If Wishes Were Fishes
Figments of the station crew's imagination are taking form and wandering around. It sounds like a recipe for disaster, given how numerous similar Star Trek episodes have turned out (usually the ones revolving around the holo-decks going faulty -- again). This one actually ended up being fairly entertaining. It's silly fluff, but it's fun, silly fluff. O'Brien's imagination creates Rumpelstiltskin, from the nighttime story he was reading his daughter. Bashir creates a submissive Jadzia Dax, while Ben and Jake Sisko's imagination brings a stocky Asian baseball player (who quotes Yogi Berra) back to life, two or so centuries after his death. Outside of Ops, Odo has to deal with some kind of giant alien ostriches, and Quark has conjured up himself a couple of scantily clad Star Trek alien babes. It's quite a bit of fun. Naturally, there is an exterior problem (related to the imagination quirk) putting the station in danger. The resolution of the episode tries to place a bit of seriousness back into the proceedings, but it didn't seem to make a lot of sense. Still, all things considered, it's a fun, if lightweight episode.
Customer Review: A wonderful bit of whimsy from the first season
Just as The Next Generation did during its inaugural season, DS9 patterned some of its first season entries after successful shows from earlier Trek incarnations. 'If Wishes Were Horses' is a sort of hybrid of plot elements from the episodes 'Shore Leave' from The Original Series and 'The Royale' from TNG. The story presented here is as entertaining as each of those two and even improves on the formula, incorporating more humor and finding a way to involve all the crewmembers - despite the proud and contrary nature of a select few. An unusual spatial anomaly appears on the DS9 scanners that can't be identified by the station's science officers. After O'Brien and his wife finish reading the tale of Rumpelstiltskin to their daughter and tuck her into bed she comes out from her bedroom scant moments later telling them that Rumpelstiltskin is in her room. Naturally disbelieving her they go into her bedroom and find the fairy tale character is quite alive and ready to offer his services. Earlier in the show's teaser Bashir had confessed to Dax an undying affection for her but she graciously turns him away. Some time later he is awakened from sleep in his quarters by an unusually vivacious Dax seeking his romantic advances; within a few minutes he will discover that Dax is on the bridge and the one pursuing him is a visage created from his mind. Adding another twist to the proceedings Jake brings someone to meet his father - the captain's baseball idol Buck Bokai who has been dead for well over 200 years. During all this the anomaly has become a dangerous rupture in space that threatens to envelope all of Bajoran space destroying everything in the process. Meanwhile the three new visitors to DS9 prove to be a real conundrum, creating quite a stir attempting to interact with O'Brien, Bashir and both Captain Sisko and Jake. Eventually their apparitions are tied to the appearance of the spatial anomaly and the captain also discovers the, by now unwelcome, trio's vulnerability that leads to an unexpected resolution. Though the story is heavily influenced by 'Shore Leave', a fan favorite, what's onscreen works marvelously well, making great use of the DS9 denizens and familiar space station areas, providing many humorous moments - especially those involving Odo and Quark who threaten to steal the show entirely in their few scenes. A snowstorm on the Promenade and later a few emus running about; everyone winning at Dabo on every roll; Quark's mysterious incarceration; the final revelation about the spatial anomaly and many other touches add up to a great mystery that is both fun and absorbing as it unfolds. In a spirited flourish to the episode when Buck Bokai tempts Jake to forget his homework and come to the holosuite to play ball, an apparition of the captain appears behind Jake's left shoulder acting quite impish enjoying the boy's predicament. The conversation between Odo and Quark in the show's opener is priceless as well, with Odo insisting that he doesn't have any fantasies as they are a waste of time; we will find out soon enough how grievously wrong that statement is. In fact none of the DS9 players escapes the lair of their imagination with everyone eventually becoming a victim of sorts. 'If Wishes Were Horses' is an excellent early effort by DS9 and in my humble opinion was of the series most memorable episodes.


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